- Rest of the family: We'll be gone for a few hours, alright?
- Me: *breaks out into song*
america: where heroine is illegal unless you’re starring on teen mom
nah mom I went to bed 4 hours ago I just woke up to go to the bathroom
Valentines day will be CANCELLED Friday, February 14th, due to inclement weather and dangerous road conditions.
i would like to take a moment to thank nani pelekai for being one of the first disney women to ever look like an actual human being
*talks to Internet friends while sitting next to real life friends*
if your gonna be nice to me there is a 89647212% chance im gonna date you
I honestly hate people who don’t leave voicemails liKE WHY DID YOU CALL ME
I DONT KNOW
NO ONE KNOWS
*blogs from phone in front of my computer*
people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted
like 95% of my daily vocabulary is ‘what’
i will always assume indirects are about me. you could make a post/tweet like “ugh i hate that you raised me this way” and i’d be like i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done that
having a crush is painful and horrible but not having a crush is just so boring